I Hate That I Love You
by evildead96
Summary: Caelan's life as a vampire has only brought him suffer and misery and he hates his creator that left him after caring for him as an infected, but when he decides to come back to him is he all open arms or is he ready to kill? Dusk/Caelan.
1. Prologue

This story has been on hiatus for a while along with my other Skulduggery Pleasant stories, my sincerest apologies to all the readers but I'm hoping to get a lot more chapters up with all my stories and finally complete them so I can write new ones.

The story is a slash fic involving Dusk and Caelan so if you don't like that kind of pairings simply go back instead of flaming.

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Skulduggery Pleasant, it is owned by Derek Landy.**

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Prologue –

_Caelan was in his room in the Midnight Hotel as he checked his watch; the only sound from the silence was the ticking after each second. It was nearly time- Caelan could feel it. _

_Shudder was outside locking his room and all Caelan could do was wait as he took in a deep breath and sighed, his normal routine was getting boring. It dulled him to the bitter core. He hated being what he was, he hated being a _vampire.

_He heard Shudder leave and he quietly thanked him for having to deal with him for the past few months, he was hated by humans and hated by his own kind, he had no place to go and he had no friends to go to. Caelan was an outcast and he didn't know how long he could stay sane if he was always isolated inside this room for the rest of his life, he hated his life, he hated being a vampire, it was because of this curse that he had killed another of his kind and now his race wanted him dead along with the rest of society. Not to mention him himself. _

_But the thing he hated most, the thing that made him like this and caused him all this pain, the thing that he would forever hold a grudge against was someone who was purely evil, he despised everything and everyone, he had black hair like him and his eyes were cold. Caelan hated him for what he had made him into and his name was stuck in his head no matter how hard he tried to forget him._

Dusk.

_Dusk was the cause of it, Dusk had turned him and after two days of being an infected, Dusk had let him live and he abandoned him, as Caelan became a vampire. He hated Dusk and never wanted to see him again._

_Caelan felt a chill go up and down his spine and he felt all the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end and he doubled over, clutching his belly and he hissed. He gritted his teeth and groaned before his hands went behind his head and he ripped off his skin and his true vampire growled and snarled as it ran around and tried to break down the door that kept him contained._


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 –

It was a Friday and Caelan was again in his room, remembering the times when he used to be human where he had friends he used to go and hang out with every Friday night, they had all grown up and old now, as for him he never aged, he was immortal so all his family and friends were most likely dead.

Caelan sighed as he looked to his window that had been barred up, he could no longer see the beautiful sunset or ever get to see the moonlight again, he loved the night, but now all he could do was just rot here and never see the moonlight again, he was allowed out, but he chose not to because there was nothing good about going out, there was simply nothing to do now even though he had eternity. The Midnight Hotel was now in Dublin again and he had wanted to see the night sky again, but he couldn't.

His door was still unlocked, Shudder hadn't come yet, he frowned because normally Shudder would have been here by now. Caelan just shrugged and took off his jacket and lied on his bed, waiting to hear the sound of a key and lock click, trapping him here once more so his savage side of him could break out hell in his room which he had repeatedly had to clean up because he would end up breaking things or moving around objects.

He looked up because he could hear footsteps coming towards his door, but with his heightened senses it sounded nothing like Shudder's footsteps, these were light and quick, but graceful, he jumped off of his bed as his door creaked open and a man he recognized far too well strode in and shut the door behind him.

"Dusk," Caelan snarled and Dusk grinned.

"Your manners are still lousy," He said, his facial expression bored as ever and his voice lazy. Caelan glared.

"Bite me."

"Already have," Dusk replied, he was grinning wickedly and Caelan narrowed his eyes, he started circling Dusk.

"What are you doing here?" Caelan asked angrily, he felt the pain in his belly again and lurched over, he was about to turn and he looked up as Dusk approached him and Caelan tried kicking him away but Dusk grabbed his hair and threw him to the ground and he pulled a needle from his coat and he pinned Caelan down on the floor as he hissed and snarled and Dusk rolled Caelan's sleeve up, injecting the serum into his system, then Dusk tossed it over his shoulder and remained kneeling over Caelan while he continued to keep Caelan pinned to the floor.

Caelan glared at Dusk and struggled, he tried moving but Dusk was far too strong for him. He stared at Dusk who was staring right into his eyes; he was looking at the scar that ran across his face. Caelan felt his body began feeling numb, what was in that stuff? He frowned and Dusk laughed at him.

"It's Wolfsbane and Hemlock, it stops you from shedding." Dusk said and Caelan could barely move now because his body was no longer responding to him.

"What else did you put in it?" Caelan hissed and Dusk grinned and Caelan was feeling light and was feeling...sleepy.

"Just something to help you sleep, I can see you haven't slept in a while." Dusk said and Caelan tried to lash out at Dusk but couldn't and as he was going to sleep, the last thing he could see and feel was Dusk picking him up and grinning evilly.

Caelan regained consciousness and he moaned, but as soon as he opened his eyes his memory hit him hard in the head and he immediately sat up and looked around at his new surroundings, it was no longer his room in the Midnight Hotel, he was in a very Gothic and well furbished bedroom with lit candles everywhere, it was a beautiful room. But he knew very well whose house it was. He rubbed his head and got up, trying to sense if Dusk was around, watching him.

"What does he want from me?" Caelan muttered to himself, he was skulking around the place and he looked to the door, it was slightly open, it was his only way out seeing as there were no windows.

He dashed to the door but something hit him, well it sort of thudded into him and he was blown back and he fell on his back, he moaned and his head was throbbing as he watched Dusk walk up to him and peer down at him, amused.

Caelan tried to get up but Dusk put his foot on his chest and he was forced back down onto the tile floor, the floor was as cold as his skin. Caelan was still weak but he brought his hands up and grabbed Dusk's ankle, trying to pull or push him off so he could make a run, but it was no use. He knew himself that Dusk was too strong.

"You're still weak," Dusk smiled. Caelan grunted and gave up on trying to escape and just let his arms drop back onto the floor, he felt so vulnerable and Dusk still had his foot on his chest, once again pinning him down.

"Tell me something I don't know," Caelan snapped and Dusk sighed, he dug his heel deeper into his chest and Caelan gasped, Dusk grinned.

"When was the last time you drank?" Dusk asked him and Caelan looked at him coldly.

"What's it to you?" He replied and Dusk blinked hard and took deep breaths, he was getting annoyed. Caelan grinned, revealing his sharp two fangs.

"Just answer the question," Dusk said slowly, regaining his calm.

"Three months," Caelan said after thinking the last time he had killed someone.

"You need to drink Caelan, you won't be able to maintain your youth if you do not drink," Dusk warned him.

"Why would you even care? You left after you turned me and after all these years you decide to show your scarred face then drug me and kidnap me and then tell me I need a drink? Who the fuck are you to tell me what I can do." Caelan said and Dusk took his foot off of him and as Caelan tried scrambling up Dusk pressed his hand against his forehead and pushed him back onto the ground, hard. Dusk kneeled down and his head lowered so it was right in front of Caelan's face.

"I know now that I shouldn't have left you so early, you can't even take care of yourself after all this time." He said lazily and Caelan gritted his teeth.

"You left me for dead!" Caelan shouted and Dusk gripped his collars and pulled his face up to his so their noses were pressing against each other and Dusk picked him up, Caelan gulped, his feet weren't touching the ground.

"_I never!_" Dusk hissed, his fangs showed as he snarled and threw Caelan onto the bed he woke up on and Dusk walked out of the room and slammed the door, Caelan got up and tried to run to the door but he heard Dusk lock it and seal it as he heard his silent footsteps echo down the corridor and he was now alone.

Caelan banged his fists onto the door, hoping to break it or something like that, the door was wooden but it sure was strong and heavy. Caelan gave up and turned and leaned on the door and slid down, sitting on the floor with his back against the wall and he looked up to the ceiling and sighed. He was trapped; even worse, he was Dusk's prisoner for whatever he had in mind.

Caelan wanted to get out of here and fast, he was getting his strength back but he knew it still wasn't enough to get out. But the more important thing was what did Dusk want from him? Why had he taken him back to his home? What was he up to now? Caelan didn't know but didn't want to stick around and find out but that didn't stop his curiosity from taking over his thoughts.

He knew his way around Dusk's house, he remembered most of the rooms, but it was a big house and he had no idea where Dusk could be lurking because he had many secret passages. And he had a thought that Dusk probably didn't bring him here to kill him either, so if it wasn't that, then what the hell did he want from him?

Caelan felt his throat go dry when he tried swallowing, he knew he needed a drink and badly. But where was he going to get one? He couldn't leave that was for sure, but if Dusk told him he needed to drink, then maybe he would take him? His mind started hurting from thinking too much and the stuff from the needle was making him get migraine. He rubbed his temples and stroked his hand through his hair. He sighed.

Dusk strode gracefully down the corridors, just walking around his old house, in these aging and experienced hallways, he was thinking now what he was to do with Caelan, he needed to get Caelan to drink or Caelan would become unwell because of lack of nourishment. He knew far more than Caelan knew about being a vampire and when a vampire was thirsty, they started to lose their minds and in a matter of weeks or even days, Caelan's mind would start to corrupt itself until there was nothing left.

When Dusk had taken Caelan he had told Shudder that he was going to speak with Caelan, Shudder had no arguments or curiosity about why and just let him go see Caelan because Shudder's rules applied to everyone no matter who they were. And once he had drugged Caelan, he broke the window and left, returning to his home.

He couldn't stop thinking about what Caelan had said to him, that Dusk had left him for dead. It was untrue; Dusk assured himself. Dusk would never have even thought about doing such a thing. Dusk had cared for him and trained him, as Caelan was an infected, Dusk treated Caelan with care like no other infected he had made. Caelan was his as Dusk was Caelan's, Dusk knew it the day he met him, before he had turned him even.

Dusk in fact loved Caelan, he had a special bond with him and he was his companion. But he knew he had to leave Caelan but the boy was too young to understand. He was then on his own and Dusk knew he had messed up. He broke Caelan's heart, Caelan had looked up to him, he had admired him, and he could never leave his side. Now Caelan despised him for what he'd done and now that Dusk could see that, he knew he had to earn his trust back, and then he would be his again, and this time, he wouldn't leave him. Not ever again.

Dusk approached the large dining room he had, it was a large room with a tall ceiling, it had a glass chandelier hanging in the center and when the lights shone on it the crystals gleamed magnificently. And then he had the long outstretched dining table that could fit about 30 people along it. This house used to be an old vampire coven home and since they had all left, he inhabited it. He remembered when he had used to show Caelan around and all the time they had spent together. He missed it, he really did. But now he didn't know if Caelan would ever want it back after how much pain Dusk had brought him from those two days spanning into years.

Dusk stopped walking, he was halfway through the dining hall and he just stopped. He thought about it, he wanted to prove to Caelan that he cared, that he wanted to change for him, that he wanted him back. But how was he going to get Caelan to accept? Or even make him love him again like Dusk wanted him to? It was going to be hard, but hopefully Caelan would forgive him. He just had to.

He finished with all that business and turned around and started walking back the way he came, he walked back down the halls, turning corners and passing more rooms and corridors until he reached the room he had sealed Caelan in and he just stood at the door as he heard Caelan moving, it sounded like he was standing up, he knew he was right in front of the door and waited for him to break the silence.

"What are you doing back here?" Caelan said with his smooth but cold voice, Dusk however felt entranced in it, but shook out of it and thought of what he would say.

"To apologize," Dusk said and he began unlocking the door and he opened it to see Caelan staring right at him, his face in a frown.

"For what? For making my life so fucking miserable, apology not accepted." Caelan said and tried closing the door on Dusk but when he did he turned around and Dusk was already in, staring down at him and was only inches away from Caelan.

"Well, yes. But I want you to remember before I left, before your life became a misery, back when you were with me, before I turned you." Dusk said, Caelan's eyes softened as his memories flooded back to him. He shook his head and walked away from Dusk to sit on his bed.

"I was fine before you did this, you ruined me." Caelan said bitterly and Dusk felt appalled, but Caelan wasn't finished yet.

"I may have had feelings for you before, but now, now I feel _nothing_. And if you think you can charm me you're wrong," Caelan said and Dusk looked to beside Caelan at the candles.

"How can I show you that I'm sorry?" Dusk asked him, stepping closer and Caelan thought; he didn't take his eyes off Dusk.

"You can't, but you can let me leave that's what you can do and never come close to me again." Caelan spat and Dusk shook his head as Caelan got up to walk to the door but Dusk was already standing in his way.

"I'm afraid I can't let you go, or leave this room or anywhere else without me in your supervision." Dusk said and Caelan glared.

"So now I'm your pet?" Caelan mumbled and Dusk didn't move.

"No. You're going to stay here until I can earn your trust back, and then I'll let you leave and never have to see me again, if you choose to that is." Dusk said and Caelan sighed, taking a quick glance at the door, his only way to freedom, then back at Dusk.

"Fine, but what if I don't? What happens then?" Caelan asked and Dusk thought for a second, then when his eyes flickered back to Caelan, his wicked grin spread across his face.

"I get to have the pleasure of draining every last pint of blood in your body." Dusk smiled and Caelan gulped. Although Dusk had different intentions, this one seemed more persuading to Caelan.

"We have ourselves a deal then," Caelan said and Dusk smirked as Caelan extended his arm out and they shook, Caelan felt uneasy as his flesh touched and brushed against Dusk's.

"You'll be very thirsty Caelan and since I won't be letting you leave, the only thing you can drink from, is _me_." Dusk said and Caelan frowned.

"No way, I'm not drinking from you, I already know what happens when you do that, and I'd rather starve." Caelan said and Dusk grinned as he opened the door so he could enter the hall. He held the door and looked back at Caelan.

"You have no choice Caelan, either you drink, or _I _drink," He said darkly and Caelan heard the door lock again and Dusk's footsteps against the tile floor as he left him once again.

Caelan stood there and then grunted and shouted a curse. He was doomed now, this was all part of Dusk's plans, and Caelan knew once you bonded, you were bonded for life. And he definitely wasn't going to do that anytime soon, especially since Dusk was the person he would be bonded with. He let himself fall back onto the bed and he sighed.

He was stuck here for who knows how long with Dusk so Dusk could try make him love him again, and second he needed to drink and badly before he lost his mind, but his only option was Dusk but he refused to. He was really in for it now and he couldn't think of a way out of it, because if he did, Dusk would kill him and he knew he wasn't joking.

"What am I going to do…?" Caelan said to himself and he covered his face with his hands.

Dusk had gone into his room; it was spacious, luxurious and far too big for a bedroom. He had his arms behind his back, pacing across his room, and thinking. His plan was perfect, but was he really that serious about killing Caelan if he refused to give into him? Did Caelan despise Dusk that much that he would choose insanity or death rather than spend the rest of his life with Dusk?

Caelan was the world to Dusk, and Dusk wanted to make sure Caelan realized that. Caelan had grown strong, selfish and arrogant over the many years he was abandoned to look after himself -all alone, without anyone there for him, without the one he truly adored.

Dusk felt guilt and shame; he knew it was wrong, but he had to leave, Dusk couldn't be around Caelan, he thought he wasn't good enough for Caelan and he was too dangerous to be around, that he should leave him so he wouldn't suffer with Dusk. He was a tortured soul and he didn't want to bring Caelan down to his level of scum.

"What am I going to do…?" Dusk sighed.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 –

The rest of the day went by painfully slowly for Caelan as for the first few hours of it he was bashing against the door with all his might and used brute force, he even threw his bed at the door, which was completely unsuccessful, now the room looked like a demolition derby and now he had no bed so he had to sleep on the floor.

"What the hell is in those doors?" Caelan snapped as he ran up to it and tried to kick it down, as soon as his foot came into contact he pushed himself off and landed back onto his feet, panting with exhaustion.

"What if he really has changed...No, why would he, he's just playing games with me, I'm not falling for it again!" Caelan grunted to himself and hit the door again.

Caelan knew he was trapped, but he also knew that anything can be broken if it could be made. He decided to give up, seeing as he'd broken nearly everything in his room or his 'personal hell' he liked to think. Dusk really knew how to secure his home even though the place was centuries old. Caelan moved the remnants of the bed and yanked the mattress and sheets and hauled it over to the empty space where the bed once was and he plopped onto it and he took off his shirt and dropped it beside him and he pulled the sheets over him and without a pillow he decided he would try and get some rest seeing as the next few days would never let him even blink.

It was quiet when Caelan woke up, not the peaceful quiet, the eerie silence like in a horror film. And he was the victim to the psychotic killer lurking in the shadows. He lied on his back, arms crossed behind his head as he stared at the ceiling. He really didn't want to get up, he didn't want to do anything, he didn't want Dusk to come in and he didn't want Dusk to be here. But no one could save him now; he was like a damsel in distress, though more along the lines of vampire taken hostage. He heard the echoing footsteps approach his room and he sat up as Dusk entered, he looked around the room with an eyebrow raised.

"My house is not a battle field Caelan remember that next time, and since you've destroyed this entire room, you're sleeping in my room." Dusk said blankly as he stared at Caelan with the same bored expression.

"If you're wondering why you hadn't turned, I injected you while you were asleep. Now get up." Dusk said.

Caelan glared, he had just punished himself and he now had to share the same room with Dusk. This day had just started and already he wanted to gulp down a cup of salt water. He picked his shirt up and put it back on and he stood up, walking on the mattress towards the door that Dusk held open for him, as he passed him Dusk smelt his scent, he smelt delicious and Dusk resisted the urge to pull him back. As soon as Caelan entered the hallway he turned around and tried pushing Dusk into the room, Dusk had already moved and grabbed Caelan by his collar and grinned.

"Don't attempt to lock me in the room Caelan because you're just too slow," He said and Caelan snarled and Dusk let go, gesturing for Caelan to walk in front of him so Dusk could watch his hostage in case he tried running away.

"Where are we going?" Caelan asked bitterly.

"Turn left. I'm taking you to your new room," He replied and Dusk grabbed Caelan by the arm as he stopped in front of two large doors that Dusk opened and they entered his room and Caelan looked around, it hadn't changed a bit the last time he was here. Caelan looked back to see Dusk locking the door, now he was truly trapped as Dusk had locked them into the room, he had no hope of escaping now, Caelan stepped back but Dusk was right up to him in a flash.

"Why do you loathe me Caelan? Is it the fear of being hurt again? Is it because you try to hide the fact of hurt because you know you still care? Tell me," Dusk said, he had his hand on Caelan's face, brushing some of his black hair from his face, his other hand clutching onto Caelan's shoulder. Caelan held his breath as Dusk rubbed his thumb against Caelan's cheek.

Caelan remained silent and he could feel Dusk's cold breath, Dusk's grip was tight and Caelan didn't even look like he was struggling because he managed to keep Caelan so still. Dusk smiled at Caelan, his two sharp fangs showing and Caelan felt himself shudder. Dusk knew he would get no response so he started thinking.

"Hmm, lets see what I can do to make you less tense, ah, I know." Dusk smiled.

Dusk grabbed Caelan's shoulders and he moved quick as he forced Caelan down and he was now pinned on the bed with Dusk looking down lustfully at him, his teeth had extended and he lowered his head to Caelan's ear.

"Feel free to scream Caelan, no one can hear you." He laughed manically as his teeth plunged into Caelan's milk white skin and Caelan yelled out, a tear slipped down his cold cheek and it streamed thickly down his neck, mixing with the blood that escaped Dusk's lips as it transferred from Caelan's artery and into Dusk.

Dusk was still straddling over him as he pulled away, gazing wildly at Caelan, whose eyes were like tiny slits because he was trying to hold the tears. Dusk grinned.

"You're still as I remember you Caelan..._delicious_," He whispered and Caelan grunted.

"I _hate _you…" He hissed and Dusk pressed a cold finger on Caelan's thin lips.

"Save your breath when you're counting sheep Caelan, time to sleep," Dusk said.

"But I just woke up..." Caelan said, he was getting weak; he didn't realize Dusk drained that much from him. If he was drained too much he got sleepy and his eyes were fluttering as he tried to fight himself to stay awake as it faded black.

The last thing he saw was that dastardly grin of Dusk's.


End file.
